Miscarriage and loss

I don’t always think a blog is the best way to tell people really upsetting news. However, I think a Facebook status is worse, so here goes. I’m actually just going to post the letter we wrote to our church family. It has the essential info in it. As I process, I hope to write more.

Brothers and sisters,
Ben and I went to the doctor this morning expecting to have great news to share with you…a boy or a girl. Well, about 2 minutes into the ultrasound, the tech went to get our doctor. He came in and my heart sank. That’s never good news. The tech scanned over my belly and I saw the trunk of our sweet baby and there was no heartbeat. Immediately, I said “there’s not a heartbeat. Why is there not a heartbeat?!” Ben and I wept together in the doctor’s office as we found out the baby actually died about 3 weeks ago. My body hasn’t responded to the baby’s death yet, and we don’t know if it will. I thought I was 17 1/2 weeks along, which is far enough along that I will have to deliver the baby. We aren’t sure yet when this will happen, but it will probably be this weekend or before. We covet your prayers. We covet your friendships. We covet your love and support. We covet compassion and grace to us. And we definitely won’t turn anyone away that drops by or calls. We love you all and are thankful you guys bear our burdens with us. Love to everyone.
Peace of Christ,
Ben, Janie, Dillon, Isaac, and Sammy


18 thoughts on “Miscarriage and loss

  1. Jeri says:

    Janie, my stomach is sick and my heart is aching for you right now. I know I have only met you a couple times but through Facebook and mutual friends, I think we would actually be great friends. I know we share a connection in that deep mamas heart. Please know I will be lifting your family to our Jesus as you navigate through this HUGE loss. Also I will be praying for your sweet boys as their little hearts figure it all out. You are a great mom. Continuing to pray.

  2. Lana says:

    Janie, we will pray for peace. You are loved by this family. Pat and Lana

  3. Kate says:

    Sweet Ben and Janie, I am so sorry for your loss! I hope you find comfort in god during this extremely difficult time. Lean on friends and family and know that so many of us are surrounding your family in our prayers. Your love for god and faith will get you by in this time of sadness and discomfort.

  4. Oh, Janie, I am so sad to hear this. I will be praying for you! I have never been through something so terrible, but I’ve seen how hard it is for some close friends of mine. I hope you find comfort in God and in your wonderful family and friends. Love you guys!

  5. As I told you, I weep with you and hurt for you, dear friend. Interceding on your behalf. Love you so much.

  6. Joyce Kilzer says:

    Janie, I am so very sorry about your sad news. You and your sweet family are certainly in my thoughts and prayers.

  7. Janet jackson says:

    Oh I am so sad and sorrowful with you today. Please know that we love you and are praying for you and your sweet love who is in the arms of Jesus.

  8. Billie says:

    Words are inadequate. Know that I care and am praying for you and yourfamily.

  9. Lori Reeves says:

    Janie, words can’t express my sorrow for your loss. I pray that the Lord will wrap his loving arms around you, Ben, and the kids during this difficult and sad time. I love you guys.

  10. Patti Todd says:

    Words cannot adequately express my sorrow. Please know that I love you and I am lifting you and your sweet family up in my prayers.

  11. debbyj says:

    Oh Janie, I am so heartbroken for you all. I’m praying for God to bless you with supernatural comfort and peace.

  12. lily says:

    love you sweet, Janie. Peace of Christ to you each. Praying for special comfort this weekend and for ease of delivery; for time for you and Ben to mourn. our hearts are breaking for you

  13. Aunt Patty says:

    Oh my sweet Ben and Janie, I am so sorry to hear this news! I am lifting you and the entire family up in my prayers.I know God will bring comfort to your entire family but you can cry when you need to and He will be there for you to hold you in his loving arms. God Bless You all. I love ya!

  14. Sandy Wood says:

    Janie and Ben, I’m so very sorry for the loss of your baby and will be lifting you up to our Lord for peace and comfort!

  15. Chris Veteto says:

    Janie and Ben, My heart hurts for you both; I know this is unbelievably hard. I have and will continue to hold you up in prayer. Love, Chris Veteto

  16. mrsmount says:

    Crying as I read this, Janie. So very sorry. Praying the peace of Christ for you and Ben.

  17. Rebecca Joy says:

    Oh Janie, My heart is breaking for you and your sweet family as I read your post. Although it has been awhile since I saw you in person, I always remember you as such an encouragement, woman of faith, and purpose. I am praying God allows you to be held as you go through this difficult time. I especially loved the line you wrote about not turning away anyone who stops by. What a testament to community. I am praying for you out here in WA. Much love to you and Ben especially right now. ❤

  18. […] he was a boy…i’m just assuming). i feel as though i’ve learned more since we lost christian about how i really felt about our first miscarriage than i did in the year between the two. […]

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