Tag Archives: motherhood

What I wore

Ok. I have taken some time to think about this new segment. I still have mixed emotions about it, but I’m going to roll with it for now. One of my favorite blogs is jones design co. Emily has done this same idea, and come to find out, it came from another blog and about 300 other women have done this, too. Well, I might just be another one on the list, but my reasons for doing this are simple. One, I want accountability to blog. Also, I want accountability to not wear my toms everyday, or a button down shirt everyday. Also, I want to look cute, but also know I’m a mom who has to be on the go. Is this vain? Maybe. Do I care? Not right now. Will I later? Probably, but for now, we’re going with it. So, without further adieu, here is what I wore.

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From left to right, top to bottom, you have
Monday: gray jeans – gap, chambray shirt – target, scarf – target, black flats – target
Tuesday – jeggings – target, pink polka dotted button down – old navy, scarf – old navy, shoes – toms
Wednesday – skinny jeans – mossimo, heart sweater – target, boots – rocket dog
Friday- boot cut jeans – mossimo, gray turtleneck – gap, boots – rocket dog
Saturday – skinny jean – mossimo, flannel shirt – target, shoes – toms

So, fail on the button down shirts, but a win for only wearing toms two days!! We’ll see how I do next week.

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:: our boy ::

over the past 2 weeks, i have had a range of emotion come over me. emotion that I don’t understand, that i can’t put my finger on, and emotion that i can’t explain. see a trend? i’ll try and explain some of my thoughts here.

first of all, christian elias was delivered on june 7, friday, at 10:10 pm. he was so precious. he always will be precious. that’s the only way i know to explain him. from the second ben and i found out about christian, that we didn’t have much time left with him, and that this was going to be the hardest thing we’ve ever gone through, we have relied so heavily on our community, our families, and our friends, but more so we’ve relied on each other and on the Lord. i’ve shared this with many of you that read this blog, but our family has never felt the love of Christ the way that we have over the past 2 weeks. i understand now why Christ created His bride, His body, the Church…it’s to be a body when you need an actual person to minister to you. this happens all the time, and on a regular basis in our lives, but i never fully understood what that meant. from our pastor praying and crying with us in his office, to my mom, dad, mother in law, and sister being with us all through labor and delivery, to meals being brought to us, and a circle of women surrounding me at church the following sunday, crying with me, and the same said women bringing food for the meal after Christian’s service on monday. y’all, it’s overwhelming. and it’s so refreshing. and it hurts. and i don’t understand it. and even with all of the wonderful things, ben and i miss our little boy. we want to see him grow up with his brothers, and we’ll never have that opportunity for him. i want to see what color hair he has, and i won’t see that here on earth. i miss him.

i know this is not the most uplifting post ever, but i pray that it will lift someone up. that it will be encouraging to that first time mom that is going through the same thing we’ve been through twice now. all i can say is that the Lord is faithful. He hasn’t left us once, and ben and i both feel incredibly close to him. i’m so thankful for His body, for our marriage, and for the family that God has chosen to give us. i don’t know what the future holds for us, but i know the only thing i can do is trust in Him, the One who gives me every good and perfect thing, and the One who truly knows what i am bearing now, since He bore it on the cross. 

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Praise Him all creatures here below.

Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts.

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.

Amen.

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